Let’s face it, talking about sex can be difficult – it can feel embarrassing and awkward.
But discussing sex shouldn’t be something we’re shy about. Remember, the more you talk about what you like, the better the sex you will have.
If talking face-to-face is a little daunting, there are other things you can try to get the sex you want. For example, lots of guys find it easier to open up about their turn-ons chatting on apps. You can try telling the other guy what you’d like to do and let him respond with what he likes.
It’s just as important to talk about what you don’t like.
When thinking about sex, consent is the one lesson we all need to learn and understand. Everyone should be able to have the sex they want, sex that they enjoy, and sex that is consensual.
So no really does mean no. We should always provide opportunities for our partners to say no even when we are engaging in sex. It’s not really a yes if someone hasn’t been given the opportunity to say no. This is especially true when someone has had too much to drink or taken drugs and things might move too fast. Slow down make sure it’s what you both want.
Talking About Safer Sex
We’ve all been there. Caught up in the moment and feeling unsure when to bring up the subject of condoms. It can seem like a difficult task or a mood killer.
“It doesn’t feel the same with a condom” – Often, if your sexual partner is unwilling to wear protection, they may try to talk you out of it but remember it’s always up to you. Sex with a condom may feel a bit different but you soon get used to it. If you want to use protection but your partner flat-out refuses then you have the right to say no.
“Don’t you trust me?” – Even if you trust your partner, it’s no guarantee that he hasn’t been exposed to an STI, particularly if he’s into unprotected sex. You don’t have to take his word for it and you don’t have to have unprotected sex unless you want to.
“Do you think I’m dirty?” – Contracting HIV and STI doesn’t mean you’re dirty. Many people can have an STI with no symptoms so they won’t even know that they have one.
Remember, you have to right to protect yourself from STIs. If a sexual partner doesn’t respect your wishes, it’s almost certainly in your best interest to walk away. After all, if they don’t respect you, do you really think you’re going to have great sex?